The Hardest Thing

 by Jess Cropsey

Our life in Kibuye is pretty comfortable. We have a nice house with appliances, indoor plumbing, and tile floors, all luxuries that most Burundians don’t have. We (now) have relatively reliable power, water, and internet. So when people ask me, “What’s the hardest thing about living in Burundi?”, my answer has always been pretty immediate — being away from family. Yes, for sure there are a host of other challenges including cultural and language barriers, limited resources, and conflict. But the hardest for me has always been missing out on time with family and sharing special events like birthdays, holidays, and family vacation. We’ve had nieces and nephews that we never got to hold as babies. While I appreciate how travel and communication are much easier than they once were, that separation has always felt like the biggest sacrifice, only now the scope has widened.

Last weekend, 3 Kibuye families dropped off their kids at Rift Valley Academy (RVA) in Kenya, a boarding school for missionary kids. The Watts were the first brave souls from our team to embark on this venture. Faders and Sunds sent their oldest girls there last year. This year, it was our turn too. For 4 years, I have watched these parents grieve sending their kids away and navigate parenting from afar. I’ve listened to their pain and watched them weep. I don’t know why it surprised me how incredibly hard it was to leave our daughter Elise (8th grade) last Friday. 

Of course it didn’t help that we faltered on our final decision multiple times in the days leading up to travel due to a rapidly changing situation with new information from the school about online options, rising covid numbers in Burundi & Kenya, land borders closing in Burundi, changing test requirements for travel, and increased mandated quarantine times, all of which made us second guess this decision.

And yet as our family considered the situation, we remained convinced this was the right choice for Elise. In her 7 academic years in Burundi, she’s had an age mate twice for less than a total of 1-½ years and both were boys. Over the last few years, one after the other of the older kids she was grouped with have gone away to RVA. She’s longing for friendship with others her age in her heart language and we can’t provide that for her here in Kibuye. She needs discipleship, social interaction, extra-curricular opportunities, and a larger community.

Elise with new classmates

RVA is an amazing place with staff who are dedicated to loving and serving students and their families in a wholistic way. Yet as a parent, it feels like such a big loss to send her out of the nest 5 years earlier than most people have to. The cost feels immense and I’m so jealous that other people are going to be the ones to hug her when she’s sad, to make her birthday cake, to help her with a problem, to answer her questions about homework, to make special memories with her, etc. 

Elise's dorm parents who, I hear from many people, are amazing!

Elise's dorm, complete with a really nice yard and beautiful view of the valley

Getting settled in her new room

I know the time always comes when parents relinquish those roles, but it just feels too soon right now. And while I know in my head that RVA is a good place for her, my heart is broken and so very sad. I now really understand the feelings that my teammates have shared over the years.

Getting some final snuggles in during orientation

Lord willing, tomorrow I’ll be getting my 4th covid test in 12 days (technically 5 since one guy decided to give me both throat & nose tests in the same sitting) and after a negative result the following day, will be released from a 7-day quarantine at a hotel in the capital city. I’m looking forward to seeing John and the boys again but I know that grief will linger as I walk by Elise’s empty (and now always clean!) bedroom, set 4 plates on the table for meals instead of 5, or realize that I don’t need to order as much produce each week or do as much laundry. 

Please pray for Matea (11th), Anna (10th), Micah (9th), and Elise (8th) as they transition to a new year at RVA (and the Sund kids too). While Micah & Elise are the new ones this year, even returning students have adjustments to make as school is so different with masks and social distancing. Pray that they would grow academically, socially, spiritually, and emotionally. And don’t forget to pray for their parents too.

(left to right) Anna, Matea, Piper, Elise, Ella, & Micah, 

all current or former Kibuye Kids now attending RVA

Snacking, Kibuye Style

by Jess Cropsey 

After living a certain way for a while, you get used to how things are, but sometimes you stop to think about something long enough to realize, Oh yeah, that’s actually pretty weird. A few weeks ago, I walked into our office to see how Elise was doing with her online school work. I found her calmly nibbling on some rose petals from a vase on my desk. Although she assured me it was perfectly safe to eat them, I quickly googled it to make sure.

That same night, I watched Micah climb into his top bunk and noticed some clover hanging out of his pocket. When asked about them, he replied they were for a late night snack while he was reading his book. These back-to-back events made me laugh and realize how weird my kids’ snacking habits really are, thus inspiring me to write this blog about snacking, Kibuye-style. 

First, it brought to mind an English class that I taught to some local teachers not long after we arrived in Burundi. One of our first lessons was about time of day which led to a discussion on meals. I taught them breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Then I attempted to teach the word snack, but was met with some very confused looks and questions like, “Wait, you eat again after your dinner?” Sheepishly, I tried to explain this away by telling them that Americans eat dinner much earlier than they do. Now that I better understand the food scarcity in Burundi and know that many Burundians live on 1-2 meals a day, I cringe to think about our discussion that day. Three full meals a day is a privilege while snacks are for young children and the wealthy. 

Since snacking doesn't happen much here, especially in our rural location, many typical snack foods in the US aren't available here. Oh, how we miss Goldfish, graham crackers, Welch's fruit snacks, grapes and cheese sticks! 

Sammy pounding the grapes during one of our final days on our last summer visit to the USA

Peanuts, boiled eggs, and homemade yogurt are some of our common snacks here in addition to bananas, passion fruit, mangoes (seasonally), carrots, cucumbers, and green peppers.

Sam with a mango about the size of his head

And there’s always a variety of homemade bread products available too — banana, pumpkin or zucchini bread; English muffins; tortillas; or bagels. Micah even enjoys onions raw or sometimes sprinkled over cinnamon bread. 

Micah in 2015 combining two of his favorite foods at the time

Apples, strawberries, and Pringles are some of our special snacking treats, but honestly I think my kids really prefer grazing outside.

Susan does a great job managing our community garden and the kids love munching on mint, chives, basil, broccoli leaves, and lettuce. Venturing out of the garden, there are even more choices available like limes, guavas, loquats, gooseberries, passion fruit, blackberries and mulberries from a neighbor’s tree, bush, or vine. There are even certain types of grass that they eat! The kids have been instructed to avoid all mushrooms just in case, but some of the workers enjoy picking the right ones (not the one below!).

But the kids’ all-time favorite go-to outdoor snack is “yum-yums” (or clover). Apparently there is a whole science behind finding just the right ones — bigger leaves are good and avoid ones with holes or yellow spots on the leaves.

Normally we don't allow food in school, but one stem didn't seem worth the battle

Journeying outside the residential area to nearby downtown Kibuye, the kids like to buy sugar cane or goat kebabs.  

A whole stick of sugar cane for about 20 cents

For the really adventurous, you can buy fried termites when the season’s right. 

Fried termites

Or if you're on the go, you can always eat them fresh!

Looking for a fresh termite snack (my kids are only observers here)

Update: Just this morning (Sunday), one of the guards was collecting the pile of flying termites that landed on our porch last night. Mary Wiland, one of our newly arrived teachers, gathered some too and fried them up (that's her picture above)! Taste test below...

"Let the little children come to me"

(by Jess)

It is a short Bible story that appears in three Gospels, and here is my summary: Adults think that Jesus shouldn't be bothered with kids during his tour of public ministry. But when they try to keep the kids away from him, Jesus becomes angry and says: "Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like these children."

We read this passage during Tuesday night Bible study recently, and it was a needed reminder to me that God values me and all people, not because of how smart, good, useful, productive or mature we are. Kids are not known for leading the human race in those characteristics.

God loves kids as they are and thinks they are important enough to spend time with them and bless them. One Bible commentary says this about the end of this story in Mark 10:16, "Jesus' loving action vividly illustrated that His blessing is freely given to those who receive it trustingly. The intensive compound verb "blessed" (kateulogei, imperf., occurring only here in the New Testament) emphasizes the warmhearted fervor with which Jesus blessed each child who came to Him."

So Jesus didn't just tolerate the kids; he wholeheartedly, gladly, intentionally blessed each child.

This past year, God has given Matt and I an opportunity to see just how much he loves his kids in Burundi. Because nearly all of our work here has revolved around kids in some way (it just played out that way), we have started to notice how much He is intervening on their behalf to bless them, care for them and remind us all that they are important.

Of course the main project that brought us to Kibuye was the Pediatric Ward at the hospital. When we arrived, I was surprised to see that it was the largest building on the campus, more than twice the size of the next biggest ward. Why? Because almost half of Burundi's population is under the age of 15. And because kids are important to God.

The playground at the Peds ward was completed this week!

Another construction project that Matt immensely enjoyed was the preschool and kindergarten for the local primary school. I loved watching the design evolve to take into account the future users - very short learners! Hence the windows arranged at various heights, the benches built into windows, and the minimal use of steps. We loved seeing kids of all ages who were magnetically drawn to it and intuitively explored it. Hopefully it serves them and their teachers well! (You can see some of the new pre-school students in Jess's blogpost.) Why spend time creating such a beautiful space? Because kids are important to God.

All smiles and giggles!

My roles in Kibuye have gravitated toward serving kids, too. I've already blogged about boiling lots of eggs each week for kids who are supported by the malnutrition program at the hospital. But I also get to jump in on the occasional sickle cell clinic to color with kids. Because playtime is important, too.

Elise and I joined the med students and interns to color with about 50 kids last week. 

I've had fun connecting with the Serge kids, too. I start my weekdays with "read-to-self" time with elementary boys at KHA, and I look forward to spending time with the older girls during our weekly crochet club. 

Our current crochet project is to create a few of these octopuses to give to preemies at the hospital. Apparently the squishy arms remind babies of the umbilical cord and comfort them.

Honestly, I'm not a exactly a "kid-person" who just can't get enough of them, and yet, God is opening my eyes to see what he sees: not just their future potential, but their present value and God's image in them that is worth celebrating, serving and just plain getting to know. I am glad that this Kibuye season turned into a reminder for us of how important these little ones are to Him.

And maybe, keeping these kids in view will make me a little more like them, more ready to notice and receive God's kingdom and the unmerited blessing Jesus offers.